Crazy kid

Still feeling the Cartman's mom vibe. When your two year old goes from screaming for pizza to singing an I love you song to her peanut butter sandwich in 15 seconds, "OK. Eat up hon," is the only sanity preserving response.

According to Froggy chocolate tastes like gorilla because both are brown.

8AM and they're all still asleep. Wonderful but if it keeps up I'm going to start checking for a gas leak.

Portion control

"Feeds 16 when cut into 16 pieces". First response: Duh. Second response: You've underestimated me.

Nursing woes

Bubba needs to wake up before I explode. He's taking an extra long nap and my boobs are displeased with his decision. I grabbed the extra oval from my bamboo diaper to have some extra absorption in the bra.

Yesterday he was popping off to look around, leaned on one and shot himself in the eye.

12 months nursing Froggy, 9 months with Bubba and still nursing issues can command all my attention.

Jerks in Spain

Jerks #1, 2, and 3 - I'm thrilled your sports team won. Now STFU. I don't let my two year old chant at the top of her lungs in a closed environment so three men in their twenties should be able to handle the same limit for two hours on a plane.

Jerk #4 - There was no assigned seating on this trip and a dozen empty seats yet you sat down directly in front of the woman with a baby on her lap and reclined your chair all the way back. You're an asshole.

Jerks #5 - 3AM is not the time to show your traveling companion all the fun beeping features on your phone unless you are in a private automobile. In group transport with dim lighting it's considered quiet time.

Jerk #6 - Hey cabbie, just because we don't speak your language and aren't familiar with the town doesn't mean we can't read the map on your GPS and tell we're being driven in circles.

Jerk #7 - Really? Racing a toddler to the bathroom. Really?

And yet despite all of you cretins it was a pretty good trip.

Nine ten idiots. Nine tranquilizer darts. Decisions, decisions.